SDR • Pre-Op

We woke up feeling very well rested! We kept Fin on her normal routine, a little iPad time with her favorite fiber breakfast bar, which she fondly refers to as a "chocolate brown bar". My husband and I chit-chatted about our anxiousness over tomorrow and what we may get done today. 

We took it easy because our pre-op was scheduled for noon. We weren't sure how long it was going to take, so we got dressed and headed downstairs for the complimentary breakfast. 

She loves putting the key in the elevator. 

Here is the yummy breakfast we had! I never take food pics, but I felt like documenting this one. 

I'm a nervous eater, so.. Yeah. 

We were running way ahead of schedule, so we decided to walk around and enjoy the cold fallish weather. This town is simply gorgeous. 

We had some fun just being our silly selves and checking out the real estate.. 

{Ofcourse we are wearing our Mommy and me Subsidy Shades! We love ordering from them because they help fund a different families' adoption each month. www.subshades.com } 

We arrived at the hospital. Checked in and hung out with some other friendly fam's from all over the world! 

This is Cam + Charlotte they are from the UK! Charlotte is having her surgery tomorrow right after Fin. It was so nice to talk with another mama who is literally in the exact shoes. We discussed our anxiousness and what the exciting future holds. We are waiting to watch a video and then finally get to meet Dr. Park. 

Things get a little silly in these waiting rooms. You see that little blue band on the far left hanging over the arm chair? That kept us busy for almost 40 minutes. 

We went into the first room and watched a video. 

Then we went into the next room and spoke with Deanna. Was so nice to finally meet her as well! Then we were escorted into THE ROOM. The room where we got to meet Dr. Park. 

He observed and assessed Finley. Then he made his final prognosis for her post-operation. We are so grateful for him.  Fin  rarely takes to people so quickly and you can tell he's just the sweetest man. She was so content on his lap after just meeting him. 

After our time with Dr. Park, we were then escorted to Physical Therapy. Josh took Fin and I headed to do check in & preliminary paperwork up at "same day surgery" floor. 

This girl rocked her session!! They took a video and assessed Finley. She took to her 'teacher' and loved her time with her. She loved these crutches and she really wanted to take them home with us. Lol. She said "they're pink" with the biggest smile.  

We concluded the Pre-Op and just in time for Dinner.  We walked around the adorable town and saw a really yummy restaurant, so we went in. It's called the Wild Flower. 

Umm let me just tell you they had THE MOST amazing grilled cheese EVER!!! Highly recommend.  I had the smoked BBQ salad and Josh had the Turkey Burger. Both very good. Fin discovered salt and pepper "sparkles" and had a ball pouring little bits at a time on a plate. Lol- she was playing chef without being wasteful. After dinner we passed by Hot Box Cookies, we had to go in.

  Seriously so amazing!! 

We took a little stroll around the town some more, and just felt so grateful and we fantasized about what it will be like when Finley can walk independently. It's like our minds block it or something, we just can't even fathom. 

We retired to our hotel room for the night, we bathed Fin and I braided her hair while she face-timed with her favorite person, her Kiki (nanny). She sat and held both of our hands and ate a little bit more dinner around 8pm.  She's not aloud any food after midnight or any liquids after 4am, so I was trying to fill her up!  Afterwards, she fell asleep rather quickly.  I packed the hospital bag, picked up the room, laid out outfits, and loaded the stroller for our 5am exit. 

I am hoping to sleep at some point. My mind is all over the place. I keep picturing my Dad and my Mother-in-law, both tragic hospital deaths in our family. And recently. My Dad 4 years ago and my Mother-in-law just this past January. Miss them so much. Looking forward to getting through the hospital one day at a time. 

Our Adventure Day in STL

OAs soon as we posted that we were coming to STL, the sweetest photographer mama reached out and said she'd love to photograph us in the city.  I booked our flight with a couple days to spare, just in case of a cancelled flight or something like that.  

So, naturally, we began our STL trip with just that, an intimate session with Alex of Shutter Darling Photography, in this gorgeous city. My husband was absolutely thrilled! We were meeting her in the Lobby. We arrived down stairs and looked around.  I was greeted by a gal, "Christina?" I said, "Hi!" Gave her a big hug and introduced her to josh as our photographer.  She had a heavy accent and said her crew was just up the way. As we neared I saw a little girl in an adaptive wheelchair and I immediately realized this wasn't the photographer, (embarrassing) this was a fellow CP mamabear.  We talked surgery and cried a little, and it brought me back to the reality of why we are here (I keep trying to forget). Her daughter, Charlotte, is getting her surgery the same day as Fin. 

Then I got a text from Alex saying she was outside, and we headed out! Photographers always remind me that husbands all hate taking pictures, mine was not out of the ordinary. Lol.  He actually didn't mind it so much, this time. I think because of the reason we are here. This trip just has a different feel to it. 

We rapped up the session before breakfast was over and headed out into the city.  We traveled to Forest Park and just soaked in all the natural beauty around us.  Josh is obsessed with Nature Parks so this was a great way to start the day. 

We had our coffee in hand and sweet girl all cozy in her stroller and we were soaking in this time. 

We made our way to the Zoo. Which was free- unbelievable for one of the top zoo's in the country. Fin was super excited to point out all the "horses" and pumpkins.  

She got a little scared by the monkeys and said her famous, "Mommy, I want to hold you." So I put her in my carrier. We had probably walked close to 4 miles already, and I don't regularly exercise.. But I was feeling great and wore her around the rest of the park until we saw the train. The weather was a crisp 68* and nice and warm in the sun. A truly gorgeous day! 

We rode the train around a few times, which Fin just loved!

We grabbed a bite and she requested a "cheeseburger" - we gotta keep her calorie count up, so that's what we got. 

After the zoo, we made a little trip to the grocery store, got stuff for dinner and some essentials. We returned back to our room and just got all situated for the next couple days. Papers, outfits, that sort of thing. Maybe it was my anxiousness but I'm an organizing machine tonight lol.

I know after her surgery this hotel won't feel the same to me, my heart will be over in the hospital room with her and it will be all consuming. 

She fell asleep right after her bath, we tuckered her out on this adventurous day! And Daddy and I are watching a documentary "The Grizzly Man" on Netflix.  Basically, he lives among the bears and is tragically killed by the bears (Josh's pick). This should help me sleep great. Lol. 

Departure to St. Louis

It's here. It's really happening.

7 months ago this all just sounded like a crazy hypothetical: traveling accross the country so Finley can undergo a life changing surgery performed by a world renowned Neurosurgeon. It still sounds like it's out of a movie to me!

I'm in awe of how all this went down: 

I remember it like it was yesterday, I was sitting in Bible study and it was my turn to say my request.  I had never thought to ask God for something grandiose.  My usual prayer requests were of a more realistic nature.  You know, trying to help make the work easier for God.  (Major eye roll at myself, lol.)  I looked around at my friends holding pens waiting to write my request for the week...  I was crying out of "special needs mother" hopelessness and I couldn't quite come up with the right words.  I have this odd vice of trying to 'simplify things' and in turn I often just make everything way more complicated. I mumbled out some random words, and then I just quickly blurted out, " I don't know, I guess. I want to pray for a miracle for Finley.  Yeah that's it, a Miracle for Finley."

A few weeks later, our pain management specialist said he thought Finley would be an excellent candidate for the Selective Dorsal Rhizotomy in St. Louis. Up until this point I had been repeatedly discouraged + told not to pursue the SDR. They would wave their hand in dismissal as if to say, "they don't do that procedure anymore." So to hear a Doctor say that he thinks it's an excellent idea for Fin was very very exciting to this mama. 

Selective dorsal rhizotomy is a surgical procedure performed on the lower spinal cord. The nerves are separated then identified via an electrical stimulation. Following identification, certain sensory nerve fibers in the spinal cord are cut. The nerves that lead to too much muscle tone, which is a condition of cerebral palsy and spasticity, are then cut. 

You have no idea what it's like to get such mixed signals from specialists, but it's common in the world of special needs parents. This was music to my ears! There is hope! I know this is exactly what Finley needed, I could feel it with everything in me.

 Little did I know that God was just getting started. 

I was doing my biblestudy friend's hair, Brittany, and she had this elaborate Dancing Dare idea to fundraise for the surgery.  We were pretty much just brainstorming, but we got eachother going!  The following week I got a call from the hospital saying the Neursurgeon officially approved our application and accepted Finley as a candidate. Talk about an answered prayer! 

On July 11 we launched the Dare to Dance Challenge. Britt and I had no idea what would come of it, but we had big dreams.  We also had a lot of fun.  You guys have no idea how hard this girl worked, she would stay up until all hours of the night editing dance videos, spent countless hours working away from her family during the day cold calling business to get them to participate, hosting events, strategizing... I'll never be able to thank her enough, we simply could not have done it without her. She knows what an integral part of this entire project she is. 

The Challenge spread so fast! I found myself stunned by each donation that came in...  To date we've had roughly 1,000 different people donate to our crowdfund through Youcaring. We raised $60,000 in less than 2 months. Which fully funded our trip and all surgery expenses. Every email notification would make my eyes well up and my heart so overjoyed.  I won't ever be able to thank all of you for donating and for sharing our youcaring page.  It's because of all of you that our dream is able to be a reality. 

Talk about a MIRACLE! I know it sounds hokey. I'm not saying God is a genie. I'm just merely stating that, in-fact this was a real prayer I had. And I have 4 witnesses and dated notes to prove it.  How else can you explain everything? Think about it.  

I'm sitting here at the airport, and I'm anxious.  I keep hearing the Lord's words "Be still" - "Be anxious about nothing"  I'm confident that this was all part of God's plan for Finley. And that this is just a chapter of her life's story. 

I want to thank you all for joining in and supporting us through the ups and downs. I don't know what the future holds, but I know it ain't holding us down! Here we come, St. Louis! 

We are still fundraising for Post-Op Therapy + Care: 

https://www.youcaring.com/finley-582947

Happily Ever After Day

When we got married, my maid of honor concluded her toast with, "Now let's raise our glass and cheers to love laughter and happily ever after."  While I thought our life would surely be that of a fairy tale, I was wrong.  In our first few years of marriage; my husband survived a horrific brown recluse spider bite, my father was tragically killed, and devastatingly we received the news of infertility.  

Thank the Lord our adoption process was on the brighter side! We were matched pretty quick and then graced with Baby Finley's presence 9 weeks early. We spent a few very stressful weeks in the hospital awaiting our legal gaurdianship and we spent many sleepless nights praying about our preemie and the health of her future. 

When she got to come home, it was as though she just filled up our home with joy via her sweet spirit! It was indescribable. I get tears just thinking about how amazing it was. 

Then, a year later, on September 19, 2014 we were getting ready for what we anticipated to be a simple court hearing. Since we'd considered ourselves Finley's parents from day 1, we expected to just sign some papers and be on our way. Nothing could have prepared us for the impact of this process. Our friend, Brian Perry (Perryfield Films), had witnessed a finalization court hearing before with the adoption of his neice and nephews, so he understood what was about to go down. I'm so glad he was there to capture it and that our sweet photographer friend, Rebecca Ryan, offered to come take beautiful pictures to document it!

I will forever cherish them.

Someone once told me, "When our lives look exactly like we imagined, we’re probably not following God’s will, but our own instead." This road the Lord has us on is not what I thought I’d have chosen, but here we are: Parents to one very special little lady. 

We are the luckiest. 

I chose the use the popular term "Happily Ever After Day" to give this date extra special meaning. It was the day that my husband and I signed our first birth certificate. We became legally parents to a child. Our child.

I'll never forget this day, it's one of the fondest memories I have. As always I must say thank you to Finley's birth parents for choosing life and then choosing to place that life with us. Adoption is an incredible thing! Today was the day we got to literally feel what it means to live "happily ever after"- thanks to two amazing people. 

Here's the link to watch our Adoption Video, you may want to grab a tissue! 

Click here to watch video

(You'll hear a beautiful guitar in the background of our video. Our friend Brian, wrote that for his son that passed away at birth. It means so much to us that he used this song for our video. You can read more about their journey at www.carryingcolin.com) 

Newport Beach FD Dares to Dance!

A few weeks back an old friend asked me if Fifi and I would be interested in making an appearance in the Newport Beach Fire Department's Dare to Dance Challenge Video. (Boy, say that 10x fast!)

I thought to myself, "I really want Finley's Birthmom to get to experience this." Afterall, Leelee would text me often and say how amazing every single video she saw was. I knew I wanted her there, and luckily the NBFD was very accepting of my request! You may be thinking, ofcourse they were accepting.. No- not always the case. I recently told a <newer> friend that I wanted to have Leelee join in at an upcoming event and she said, "Really, why?!" Like why would I want to include her in an event I didn't have to.  I technically never have to, I get to. 

 I'm aware that our open adoption can confuse people or make them uncomfortable. And that's okay.  I guess it's just like everything else that's not perceived as 'normal' and some people just don't understand it. You see, it's my job as an advocate and as a member of an adoption triad- to do my best to make it feel normal to people. 

Part of why Open Adoption is so amazing is that I get to share my thankfulness constantly. The woman that chose to give life to her child and then chose to place that life in my hands gets to see how grateful and in love, with said child, we are. She gets to experience parts of our daughter's life & Finley will get to experience parts of her birthmother- something that wouldn't happen if it were a closed adoption. 

This doesn't mean either of us are extra "strong" or "selfless" - it just means we cumulatively want to continue to do the best for Finley. 

So, there's my two cents on that! Haha! #endlecture - I'm so excited to share this video! https://vimeo.com/182461277

Thank you so much to everyone who came out to participate in the video and everyone who had a hand in creating it! 

We love it! 

The Happy Hour Podcast

Last week I had the pleasure of chatting with Jamie on her Podcast, The Happy Hour.  I'm still getting used to doing interviews, they always make me so nervous!  I never want to say the wrong thing... but I'm human, it's a certainty at some point that i will say the wrong thing.  I was super comfortable chatting with Jamie, it definitely felt like we had known each other for years! She's a published Christian Author, which is intimidating! BUT she's also a wife, mother, and fellow adoptive mama and she made the interview really fun.  She was cracking me up!   

We discuss the challenges of special needs parenting, adoption, exercising patience, and the tragic loss of my father.  I haven't really spoken too much publicly about my Dad, so it got emotional.  I was pretty much bawling uncontrollably. It was hard to listen to that part of the podcast- but ultimately thats all part of my story, and its what got me to where I am today.  

It's about an hour long. Our interview was pretty early in the morning for me- so I was struggling to find some words -lol- bear with me, folks! 

Are there things you would like to know? I would love your feedback: fifiandmo@gmail.com

Hope you enjoy Happy Hour #105!

xo,

Christina 

To hear the Podcast click here  

STEPtember

H o w d y  y' a l l !

From September 1st to September 28th, I will be "stepping up" to the challenge for STEPtember. I will complete 10,000 steps a day or the exercise equivalent -there’s 70+ exercise options for me to choose from - to raise vital funds for children and adults living with cerebral palsy and other disabilities.

The average office worker only takes about 3,000 steps per day - which is not enough to keep us as healthy and active as we should be. Although 10,000 “steps” a day is going to be quite a challenge for me, I know every “step” will be made easier with the support of friends and family like you and knowing that it’s all for such a great cause.

Cerebral palsy is the most common motor disability in childhood. About 1 in 323 children have been identified with CP.  And all those children grow up to be adults with CP.

So please help empower children and adults with cerebral palsy and other disabilities to live a life without limits by sponsoring me. (https://event.steptember.us/donate/onbehalfof?id=d8382915-601f-4659-ac4d-e29b2c801581)

Your support would mean so much not only to me but also to all of the children and adults with disabilities that United Cerebral Palsy serves.

For example,

• $28 could provide community support services to families of individuals with disabilities.

• $55 could provide one day of recreational activities for an adult with an intellectual/developmental disability.

• $105 could pay for a piece of assistive technology to help clients communicate.

Together we really can make a difference.

Please help make every "step" I take count this STEPtember. Any amount you contribute (https://event.steptember.us/donate/onbehalfof?id=d8382915-601f-4659-ac4d-e29b2c801581) would be enormously appreciated.

Thanks for your support,

Christina + Finley

P.S. You'll also receive an automated receipt for your tax-deductible donation.